How Learning to Say No Changed My Life

Let me tell you something that changed everything for me.

I stopped saying yes to everything and started saying no to things that pull me away from peace, from purpose, and from the presence of God.

I used to think that saying yes made me a better person. More helpful. More spiritual. More valuable. But what I was really doing was saying yes to everyone else’s priorities and no to my own purpose. No to God’s pace for me. No to what really mattered most.

Friend, let me say this loud and clear...
You don’t need to say yes to everything to prove your worth.

Let me walk you through some of the no’s I’ve started saying. Maybe they’ll stir something in your heart, too.

I say no to the things that drain me dry.
The busy work that keeps me moving but doesn’t actually move me forward. The tasks that take all my energy but don’t bring the results that matter. 

I say no to anything that doesn’t bring glory to God.

If it leads me away from Him, no matter how impressive it looks to the world, it’s not worth the cost.

My heart was made to worship, not to hustle endlessly for approval.

I’ve learned to say no to the things that steal precious moments from my family.
The yeses that pull me away from the dinner table.
The tasks that crowd out bedtime stories and whispered prayers.
My time is a gift, and I want to give the best of it to the ones I love most.

So if a yes to something outside my home means a no to being fully present inside my home… the answer is a gentle but firm no, thank you.

I say no to conversations that tear others down rather than build them up.
I won’t participate in gossip. I won’t entertain criticism that doesn’t come from a heart of love. I want my words to breathe life, not poison.

I’ve learned to say no to clients who don’t see my worth.
Because I’m not just someone who checks off to-do lists; I’m someone created with purpose, and I work as for the Lord.
I serve with excellence, yes, but I also know I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay.

I say no to pressure, performance, and perfection
I say no to the hustle culture that tells me I need to do more, just to matter. 

And when I say no to all of that…

I get to say yes to what actually lights me up.

Yes to long coffee dates with Jesus in the morning.
Yes to dancing in the kitchen with my daughter.
Yes to slow Sundays with my husband and sweet rest.
Yes to serving clients I love who see the value in what I bring.
Yes to walking in peace and not pressure.

Here’s what I’m learning in all of this:

You don’t need to carry what God never asked you to carry.
You don’t need to please everyone.
You don’t need to prove anything.

You are allowed to say no, so you can say a full, beautiful, wholehearted yes to the life God is inviting you into.

So go ahead. Say it with love. Say it with freedom.
Say no.

And then open your arms wide for the yes that God has handcrafted just for you.

You don’t owe anyone your burnout.
You owe God your obedience.

That’s where the freedom is.
That’s where the joy lives.
That’s where you find your real, full, purpose-filled life.

Because your yes is far too precious to waste.
And your 'no' makes room for your God-given 'yes'.

With Love,
Monica

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